Have you ever felt confused about why the person who loves you treats you this way?
Do they:
cControl you?
cIntimidate you?
cshout at you?
cthreaten to hurt or kill you?
cwithold money
cthreaten to take your children away
ccall you names?
cinsult you ?
ccriticise or lie to you?
cfollow or check up on you?
cstop you contacting family and friends?
cControl your movements?
cChoose your clothes?
cStop you sleeping?
cpromise to change and beg for forgiveness?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions you may be experiencing domestic abuse.
Because a lot of people connect domestic abuse solely with physical violence, some people may consider victims not to be “real” men because “they can’t stand up for themselves”.But Domestic abuse is so more than just physical violence. Perpetrators of domestic abuse seek to hold power and control over their victim. This can make you feel depressed, isolated or humiliated.
While is a lot of publicity concerning women who experience domestic abuse, there are services and support for men too. You can check our services directory for support near your area (http://www.dynwales.org/default.asp?contentID=581) or give our helpline a call on 0808 801 0321 to discuss what’s available near you.
If you aren’t ready to speak to anyone at the moment, there are some things you can do yourself to make you and your family safer. These tips may also be useful if you are considering leaving your home.
Keeping safe
Write down handy numbers. You may not always have access to your mobile phone so consider keeping a list phone numbers for friends, family and support services in your wallet or in work. If your phone is broken or taken from you, you will still have access to these numbers.
Speak out to someone. Everyone needs support and telling a friend or family member can sometimes help alot. You dont have to do anything else about it, but just speaking out loud can offer be a great relief.
Don’t retaliate. Try not to be provoked into retaliating. It’s the hardest thing to do, but if you do retaliate it can be made to look like you are the one abusing your loved one.
Considerhelp and advice. There are many services that can give you support in this situation or at least provide a listening ear. Our service directory or helpline can point you ion the direction of local organisations.
Helping yourself
Report any injuries to your doctor or Accident and Emergency. Even if you don’t want to do anything else at that point, it is important that there is a record of what is happening to you.
Keep a diary of the dates and details of all incidents of abuse (Remember this includes emotional, psychological, financial and sexual in addition to physical)
Keep some money aside. If you think you might need to leave quickly at any point, it is useful if you know you have some money for travel and accommodation.
Get your paperwork. It is a good idea to get documentation together so that you can take it if you need to leave suddenly. You should thinking about finding documents such as Passports, driving licences and insurance documents.
Get legal advice. Once you have decided to end the relationship, getting legal advice can ease your mind and help you secure your property and access rights for your children. See our legal FAQand contact a local solicitor for more information.
For further advice you can call the Dyn Wales Helpline on 0808 801 0321.
Monday 10am – 4pm
Tuesday 10am – 4pm
Wednesday 10am – 1pm
Wales Domestic Abuse Helpline (24hrs) 0808 80 10 800
